Marriage for me has been a gift. A main avenue through which the Spirit works to renew and transform my mind. The parallels that run through marriage and our life with Him run deep. They are a training ground of spiritual expression. Even as I write this I am astounded by a revelation as He opens my mind to a deeper truth of something He has been teaching me for years!
My spouse can never fulfill me the way the Spirit can. He can never meet my needs at the deepest level the way Jesus can and wants to. Song of Solomon is expressed the way it is on purpose. We have turned all our focus on the physical, getting our needs met, making sure we are happy and with people who build us up. That puts a lot of pressure on us! I have seen posts and books about an affair proof marriage keeping your man interested in you. Now I don’t want to take away from what some of these wise women are saying, addressing certain weak areas of self focus. I am speaking of freedom. Freedom in marriage is a deep abiding reliance on Jesus to meet our needs. It is a faith often so hard to grasp we are weeping at His feet, but the end of this road is a vision of grandeur. Sometimes the work He is doing isn’t on us, we are just a part of the process and in the end we get to stand in awe. Casting our care on Him seems so clique but really only in letting go and being free do we see Him and what He is doing in our marriage and in our life. When we are working so hard in our own power to make things work we can’t see Him. All we see is the effort we are making and we are looking for the expected response. This only ever leads to deception and disillusionment. Gideon watched God work, Moses held up his hands and watched God work, Peter, Paul and the apostles laid their hands and said words. This is not work and human effort. We gain nothing on this road and in our marriage it is no different. This is not a new story or a new way.
So let’s put down our expectations. Let’s be free and look around and see what God is doing. Is your spouse not saying what you need or want to hear right now or some other loved one? Let’s live free to ask why. I am loved, I am cherished where is this darkness coming from. Should I speak to it? Can I express love in the face of it? So often for me the answer is no. The best I can do is hold tightly to my control and not respond. Let me tell you I fail often! What should I be in prayer about? So often I can see how my spouse should be handling our relationship differently and what His best behavior is but really the question comes back to me? This is really between God and I. The spiritual manifests itself in the physical and satan just amps it up makes it bigger than it is.
So today I am going to take a moment and sit before Jesus and listen to the Spirit. What does He want me to see? What army is He conquering while I am looking the other way and complaining about what I don’t have? Today I am going to look freedom in the face and see the chains the Spirit wants to break. The chains that are binding me and keeping me back from loving those He has put in my life because I only infinitesimally grasp His love for me.
I am thankful for the reminder I don’t need my spouse to act in a certain way or say certain things. I can love because I am learning more each day how I am loved. I am thankful as I have been for years that God chose to show His love for me through my spouse and then my children and He continues in so many ways. I am thankful I am not responsible to live with the spin in my head and to rely on those around me who have their own challenges, I can rest in Jesus. When there is no clear instruction I just rest and for that I am thankful. I am thankful that as I watch Him handle these challenges in my physical realm with my spouse He takes me deeper inside of my relationship with Him where He is healing me and bringing out what He intended when He created me.
Are you challenged in your relationships? Is it hard to hear God? Is your feeling of love coming from those around you and you just are not feeling it right now? Leave a comment and let me pray for you. This is an ongoing struggle. Let go today and open yourself up to God’s true intent for you? See the you He created.