Recently we dropped our son off at the airport, he was heading to England. He started on a journey a year and half ago that culminated in him flying to another continent and country. There are so many thoughts and feelings that go with this adventure as his parent. Parenting adults as you will hear me say often is so full of ups and downs. Sometimes God is using them in such amazing ways and doing such amazing things. They are making choices that make you stand back and say oh wow that is my child. Then there are other times when you are asking yourself “Wait what? Where is that coming from?” In this case six months ago we learned that our son had a relationship with a girl he had met online. Now let me be clear there are many types of online relationships and I will speak to others in a later post but for now this was a regular girl he had met while in a book discussion forum on a website.
God does not leave things a mystery when we are constantly petitioning Him about our children I have learned this again and again. This was made clear again in this situation as well. God allowed us to be in the dark about our son as long as He wanted and then He brought it to light. Our son left up a Skype ID we were unfamiliar with and the story unfolded. There are so many clues the Spirit gives about where a heart is at if you are seeking Him. I think often times in these situations where a hidden aspect of our child comes to light, we can be either hurt or use something like this to bring some legal point home that has nothing to do with the path God has for that particular child. I found both of these to be true with my first child, poor girl. We can get so caught up in what we think is the overall right choice in a decision our child makes. Our son’s demeanor was not angry or defensive about our finding out about the girl, he was just not sure how we would feel. Essentially he had not told us because he thought we would not approve of the online aspect of their relationship.
I don’t think before this I could have articulated how I felt about this as I had nothing to go on prior to this occurring, but on discussing this with him I really had a peace about it. I felt like the Spirit was telling me to be open. We spoke to her that first night and she was so sweet. We have spoken to her several times over the last 6 months and she is a sweet girl. I let him know he had a responsibility to go and meet her in person so he booked the tickets he just used. This has been such an unexpected turn of events and I as always love watching God at work.
I have been watching this open my son back up, he had been hurt by another girl a few years back. It also is getting him to travel and step out in a way I don’t know that he would have prior to this. I have seen nothing but growth in good ways in him. So I am excited to see what God has planned for this journey he has embarked on! The key in these kinds of things especially with our kids, but in everything really is staying open to what God wants to show you not being stuck on what you think should happen. We all or at least I do, have a tendency to predetermine what we would like to happen, see, or learn in the situations He puts in our life. I have found that when I define things myself I have a hard time seeing what He is actually doing.
As different family members have approached me it has been from the perspective that I am worried but I cannot go there in my mind. I cannot let my mind wander down these paths and give power to fear and doubt. So instead I have just been praying for growth and wisdom. I have been encouraging my son to look at God and move forward. It has been so different from how I handled my first just one more reason to have more than one child if you can.
So there you have it my son went off to England to see a girl he has been communicating with for lengthy amounts of time daily for over a year. He was so joyful while he was there, his best self really. This relationship is bringing out his strengths. So while it is unorthodox and we are in unknown territory I am excited to watch God work in this area as well. Stay tuned and I will keep you posted as to where God leads all of us on this new path. Stay open and be amazed as God works in your children’s lives and the way He gets their attention.